Luckily this one was already horizontal.
though i can't figure out how to make it legible, i imagine he is singing, "if you think i'm sexy and you want my body..."
this is gary. he is the star of a picture book i have been working on for a long time, gary-the-amazing. he feel out of his nest when he was little and he was adopted by clowns, so he grew up in the circus.
So my mom is coming here this weekend. Anyone have any ideas for where we should eat dinner Saturday night? It should be incredibly awkward when we have dinner with my grandparents who are just a little racist and homophobic.
In other news, I just cut my hair in the sink, with a little help from my temporary roommate A. who is incredibly helpful and the best guy on the couch any gal could want. My girl calls him her boyfriend. Which is weird for many reasons. There is nothing better than a self-performed transformation.
In preparing for school I bought an office chair, and it turns out Ikea left out a bit of the directions, so I've spent an incredibly long time putting it together backwards. Awesome.
I hope all is well for everyone,
nerd.
oh! Also, we are having a party at my house and I feel incredibly stressed out because she has mentioned at least ten times that it is a big deal that she will be meeting my friends. UGH. Stressed out is the opposite of having a party actually. And I said she will mostly just be meeting my roommate's friends but it didn't seem to make things any lighter. And as a result, I'm not inviting everyone I want to, because i think it will get complicated if she meets certain people.
Yuck. she texts me things like, "ur the highlight of my day baby" Umm, how can one be expected to fall for someone who could use the word "ur?!" I might throw up. I might just go ahead and throw up if I ever get a text like that again. Right away. Even if I'm eating dinner. Of course who gets a chance to eat dinner when one is getting three phone calls and three texts a day? EWWW. And why do i now feel like I need to break up with her or something, and I haven't even decided that she is my girlfriend?
I had a dream the other night that we had a baby together. (i guess this is my subconcious mind thinking of the most committed/connected to a person you can be) Thank g-d she's not getting me pregnant.
Meanwhile, my brother tells me that my mother has been going on J-date this Jewish dating site and looking up men in my area. Great. So while I am not super interested in this relationship, isn't it nice to know that my mother doesn't take me seriously at all?
Ok back to work.
- Mood:
exhausted
So, what am I thinking about right now?
I'm thinking a lot about what it means to be a girlfriend or boyfriend... In the past I've been known to have my potential significant other fill out an application before calling the person a boyfriend or girlfriend. (Yes, seriously.) Is that ridiculous? (Yes, probably) But it makes it very clear what the other person is getting into. (a bowl full of crazy) I have to admit I've recently been called a girlfriend. If I accept, do I have to participate in some sort of binary? If I accept, does that mean I am responsible for feeling a certain way? Does that mean I responsible for feelings? Can one be responsible for feelings? If I accept do I have to stop having incredible sex with my ex? Does the fact that I don't want to mean I am not ready to accept the title? Is "girlfriend" even something you can accept or not accept?
Maybe the only girlfriend I'm ready to be is this one.
For more info on what I'm up to, look here.
- Mood:
hot - Music:The seed -the roots
Thai food and movies. That's what tonight is. Tomorrow, I am unsure. But hopefully there will be baking.
Soon, I am going to San Francisco. I just realized I haven't lived there in 7 years. Weird. Any ideas on what I should do whilst I am there?
- Mood:
blah
In case you haven't been reading it already, this is an excellent blog, full of spicy anicdotes and yes, the occasional creative blowjob story.
Quoth the blog:
I like to think of myself as a sexy superhero, fighting sexual injustice with my carnal prowess and cockring of truth. I like to think of myself as Wonder Whore.
- Location:work, schmerk
- Mood: bored
- Mood:
pensive
email this posting to a friend
hi...i'm ugly and i need a date (no, i didn't post this)
Reply to: pers-284359158@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-25, 11:37AM EST
hi i'm relatively unattractive....stunning in a negative kind of way.....i'm just average, at best, in the looks department...i don't workout and i eat lots of junk food...yeah i'm kinda big, but as people say not in a sloppy way.
as i ride the train and observe the people on the street, i've noticed that most people are not exceptionally physically attractive...not ugly..not cute...just average..so if you can accept that reality and know that should you respond to this ad you wont be meeting "a sexy bi femme" thats good.
beyond my lack of physical gifts, i'm smart, warm, generous, considerate and sensual. i've had enuf experience in life to carry a little baggage...and life...life is drama, is it not?...that's why you watch the L word, sopranos, sitc...drama...i got some of that too.
just wondered what it would look like to be honest in one of these ads.
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 284359158
- Location:crownstuy
- Mood:
awake
Here is an excerpt:
"It's time!" Gary thought. "Soon there will be amazing explosions, or they'll be turning the car into a spaceship!" Deloris opened the door of the tiny car and got in. It was a tight squeeze, and Gary was kind of surprised she was able to fit. Then Morris squished in beside her. The the unthinkable! Borris managed to push himself in between and on top of Morris and Deloris! Gary had no idea they could bend like that. Then Deloris started the engine and drove the car in a circle. Boris has his leg sticking out of the car, and Morris was practically folded in half with his pants sticking out the window! That was when the audience really started laughing. The roar of giggles was deafening. Gary was shocked. "What are you laughing at?" He asked aloud. "What could possibly be so funny? Do you know how difficult that is?" The woman next to Gary was laughing too hard to answer.
Soon, there'll be more.
Stay tuned.
- Location:Cookie Land
- Location:work, shmerk
- Mood:
calm
Happy V day!
It's 3:00 and so far I've received no chocolate hearts, no roses and no edible panties. All in all it's a good day. Oh yeah, and there is a horribly cold sleet storm outside. Did I forget to mention that? Today it was so cold that when I went downstairs to open the metal gate it was frozen shut! I had to climb around into the neighbors' yard while hoping I wasn't caught and forced to live the rest of my life as their lawn gnome. Clearly, I survived. Then I made it to the D.r.'s office where I was scheduled to get back my shoe inserts and the doctor wasn't there. When he finally called me, it was to say he had gotten into a car accident and wouldn't be able to come in. So, ladies and gentlemen, It will now be ANOTHER week of the not walking well. Yep, that's right one whole month all together if all goes well. (Of course, "If all goes well" seems like the wrong expression to use here as it has clearly not all gone well.) So, to sum things up, one day soon I may be able to walk right again. Hooray! Now I am working in a different area than usual, and of course due to the storm, they don't need me at all which is how I've found the time to update my journal :)
So, as for V day, here are a few things that start with "v"
Vanilla
Vagina
Venus Fly Trap
Velveeta
Ventilator
Virtual reality
Venerial Disease
- Mood:
anxious
So, another year has passed, and I have received another reminder which means...
Today is my baby brother's birthday! He is turning sixteen which makes me feel about a hundred and twelve. I used to change his diapers! I taught him how to write his alphabet! The year I turned 10, he spit up all over the bitchiest girl in the class at my sleepover party! Yes, we've had some wonderfully supportive times together.
Happy Birthday Hookie!
Also, I need to go to an open mic soon or I may explode. I desperately, desperately neeeeed to read.
So, who wants to come to this?
| Monday, February 5 2007 10:00pm |
The O'Debra Twins "Show & Tell" $3 open mic and surprises till the whee! hours
The O’Debra Twins are hugely famous. That is why they have headlined at the following cabaret shows, comedy clubs, and other such star studded events: Eating It, Rubulad, No Hitting, Ass Magazine’s Launch Party, The Floating Vaudeville Show, Deep Dish Cabaret, Caroline’s, Piano’s, The Estrogenius Festival, Grindhouse A Go-Go, Gotham Comedy Club, Comic Strip Live, CBGB Gallery, Stand Up NY, Arlene’s Film Festival, NY Comedy Club, and Pete’s Candy Store. You can catch them in Reverend Jen and Nick Zedd’s “Electra Elf and Fluffer” series. You probably also remember The O’Debra Twins from their own smash hits, “SHUTUP!!!”, “The Entire World Thinks We’re Famous”, “Nightmare on Pussy Street”, “The O’Debra Twins Are Hungry; A Thanksgiving Special”, and “The O’Debra Twins Are Ho Ho Hoes”. They also host a wet and wild open mic at The Bowery Poetry Club called “SHOW AND TELL”.
Diane Destiny O’Debra and Tanya Tammy Tina Tiny Dancer Hyphen O’Debra are asthmatic Irish Twins who were born out of cabbages in a McDonald’s bathroom in Dublin. Part Cocker Spaniel, they both hold Associate Degrees from the Rosie Perez School of Braiding. The O’Debra Twins have no blood or guts. They are instead filled with confetti.
I've been to it before and it's a lot of fun. It happens pretty much every monday so I'm gonna go this monday. come with me nerds!
- Location:weerk
Salmon Wontons:
Personally, I like to buy the wonton wrappers in the vegetable department of the grocery store, but here is a very easy recipe to make your own.
As for the insides...
Ingredients:
1/2 pound fresh salmon. (That's about $6 worth for those of you on the east coast)
Soft Cream cheese (about 1/4 cup)
Green Onions, chopped (about 1/4 cup)
4 tablespons Paprika
4 tablespoons Garlic powder
Soy Sauce
Directions:
Cut salmon into half-inch cubes
Cover cubes in garlic powder and paprika
put one cube in each wonton wrapper, about 1/2 teaspoon cream cheese and a sprinkle of green onions
Fold wonton wrapper in on each side and then roll up. (this will give you a cute little square. but don't freak out if it's not perfect)
(it's better for the wrappers to close then the wontons to be stuffed)
The next part is up to you. You can fry 'em or steam 'em!
Fry:
Pour oil into a pan (until it is about 1/4 inch deep)
Heat oil until a sprinkle of water sizzles
Throw four or five wontons into oil and cover pan for no longer than 30 seconds and then flip
Wontons will be done very fast so watch closely
Steam:
I like to add a little margarine and spy sauce to the water (about 1/4 cup water) as soon as pan is hot, quickly cover the wontons for about a minute. You dont have to flip these ones.
Once you've steamed or fried, yer done!
Serve with soy sauce to dip
mmmmmm
- Mood:
cold
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