wordnerd44

I've been drawing shoes... (2)

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:26:07 GMT

Luckily this one was already horizontal.

I've been drawing shoes...

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:24:20 GMT

if you think i'm sexy...

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:03:12 GMT

though i can't figure out how to make it legible, i imagine he is singing, "if you think i'm sexy and you want my body..."

gary-the-amazing

Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:55:54 GMT

this is gary. he is the star of a picture book i have been working on for a long time, gary-the-amazing. he feel out of his nest when he was little and he was adopted by clowns, so he grew up in the circus.

cartoons

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 20:19:48 GMT

I've been practicing my cartooning skillz. I am considering posting some stuff up here, cause, you know, why not?

I know I haven't been on here in over a year, but if you are missing me, I have been over here.

nerd.

mmmmmom.

Sat, 26 May 2007 05:20:23 GMT

So my mom is coming here this weekend. Anyone have any ideas for where we should eat dinner Saturday night? It should be incredibly awkward when we have dinner with my grandparents who are just a little racist and homophobic.

In other news, I just cut my hair in the sink, with a little help from my temporary roommate A. who is incredibly helpful and the best guy on the couch any gal could want. My girl calls him her boyfriend. Which is weird for many reasons. There is nothing better than a self-performed transformation.

In preparing for school I bought an office chair, and it turns out Ikea left out a bit of the directions, so I've spent an incredibly long time putting it together backwards. Awesome.

I hope all is well for everyone,

nerd.

ARRRRGH!

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 16:01:11 GMT

So I've been dating this girl. Right away she started calling me like three times a day. (literally) After a week or so I told her she was stressing me out and needed to stop doing that. Now she is all up on me about sleeping over at her house. Why do I have to do that? I don't want to. Her house is way too reminisent of a dorm room. I hate dorms. And she seems very hurt that I don't invite her to sleep at my house either. When I ask her why it is such a big deal, she says, "I just think that when you see someone sleep it tells you so much about them." Umm, maybe I don't want her to know so much about me? Also now she has taken to still calling me three times a day but not leaving a message and then texting me right afterwards. blech. How could such a super butch be so needy? It's driving up the wall! Am I being unreasonable? Why am I so uncomfortable?

oh! Also, we are having a party at my house and I feel incredibly stressed out because she has mentioned at least ten times that it is a big deal that she will be meeting my friends. UGH. Stressed out is the opposite of having a party actually. And I said she will mostly just be meeting my roommate's friends but it didn't seem to make things any lighter. And as a result, I'm not inviting everyone I want to, because i think it will get complicated if she meets certain people.

Yuck. she texts me things like, "ur the highlight of my day baby" Umm, how can one be expected to fall for someone who could use the word "ur?!" I might throw up. I might just go ahead and throw up if I ever get a text like that again. Right away. Even if I'm eating dinner. Of course who gets a chance to eat dinner when one is getting three phone calls and three texts a day? EWWW. And why do i now feel like I need to break up with her or something, and I haven't even decided that she is my girlfriend?

I had a dream the other night that we had a baby together. (i guess this is my subconcious mind thinking of the most committed/connected to a person you can be) Thank g-d she's not getting me pregnant.

Meanwhile, my brother tells me that my mother has been going on J-date this Jewish dating site and looking up men in my area. Great. So while I am not super interested in this relationship, isn't it nice to know that my mother doesn't take me seriously at all?

Ok back to work.

Girlfriend?

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 03:47:31 GMT

Allright, ya'll, I haven't written here in quite a while so I thought that I would for once.

So, what am I thinking about right now?

I'm thinking a lot about what it means to be a girlfriend or boyfriend... In the past I've been known to have my potential significant other fill out an application before calling the person a boyfriend or girlfriend. (Yes, seriously.) Is that ridiculous? (Yes, probably) But it makes it very clear what the other person is getting into. (a bowl full of crazy) I have to admit I've recently been called a girlfriend. If I accept, do I have to participate in some sort of binary? If I accept, does that mean I am responsible for feeling a certain way? Does that mean I responsible for feelings? Can one be responsible for feelings? If I accept do I have to stop having incredible sex with my ex? Does the fact that I don't want to mean I am not ready to accept the title? Is "girlfriend" even something you can accept or not accept?

Maybe the only girlfriend I'm ready to be is this one.

For more info on what I'm up to, look here.

San Francisco

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 02:52:29 GMT

Well, it's been a weird week. To say the least. "To say the least" is an odd expression, at least for me, because when do I ever do that?

Thai food and movies. That's what tonight is. Tomorrow, I am unsure. But hopefully there will be baking.

Soon, I am going to San Francisco. I just realized I haven't lived there in 7 years. Weird. Any ideas on what I should do whilst I am there?

New blog!

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 04:50:04 GMT

hey y'all, I've moved over to wordpress. I have to admit it, it is prettier. I will probably post over here too, but I'm trying to branch out.

Here's the new blog

Wonder whore

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:29:45 GMT

In case you haven't been reading it already, this is an excellent blog, full of spicy anicdotes and yes, the occasional creative blowjob story.

Quoth the blog:

I like to think of myself as a sexy superhero, fighting sexual injustice with my carnal prowess and cockring of truth. I like to think of myself as Wonder Whore.

not kissing

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 04:46:53 GMT

it's hard to tell how a date goes when you can't really kiss at the end. this is how i normally know how a date went. i mean, clearly there are clues before this moment. but this is the moment that really sums everything up. well, it becomes difficult to sum everything up when you are a train saying goodnight and it is the sort of train where an interracial lesbian couple should not be kissing. especially when one of the two is staying on the train another stop. so, leaving the date on a handshake, one of the two finds herself confused. maybe not confused. maybe just lacking confidence.

How you know you have been on craigslist too long. (aww)

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 06:28:47 GMT

email this posting to a friend

hi...i'm ugly and i need a date (no, i didn't post this)

Reply to: pers-284359158@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-25, 11:37AM EST

hi i'm relatively unattractive....stunning in a negative kind of way.....i'm just average, at best, in the looks department...i don't workout and i eat lots of junk food...yeah i'm kinda big, but as people say not in a sloppy way.

as i ride the train and observe the people on the street, i've noticed that most people are not exceptionally physically attractive...not ugly..not cute...just average..so if you can accept that reality and know that should you respond to this ad you wont be meeting "a sexy bi femme" thats good.

beyond my lack of physical gifts, i'm smart, warm, generous, considerate and sensual. i've had enuf experience in life to carry a little baggage...and life...life is drama, is it not?...that's why you watch the L word, sopranos, sitc...drama...i got some of that too.

just wondered what it would look like to be honest in one of these ads.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 284359158

Gary-the-amazing-bird-on-a-bicycle

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 03:19:16 GMT

Yes, it's true, I'm working on a new children's book. I was inspired by some fabulous kids while visiting another tutoring center this week. It's about a bird raised by clowns. Suddenly he finds out that his family makes people laugh for a living! Crazy.

Here is an excerpt:

"It's time!" Gary thought. "Soon there will be amazing explosions, or they'll be turning the car into a spaceship!" Deloris opened the door of the tiny car and got in. It was a tight squeeze, and Gary was kind of surprised she was able to fit. Then Morris squished in beside her. The the unthinkable! Borris managed to push himself in between and on top of Morris and Deloris! Gary had no idea they could bend like that. Then Deloris started the engine and drove the car in a circle. Boris has his leg sticking out of the car, and Morris was practically folded in half with his pants sticking out the window! That was when the audience really started laughing. The roar of giggles was deafening. Gary was shocked. "What are you laughing at?" He asked aloud. "What could possibly be so funny? Do you know how difficult that is?" The woman next to Gary was laughing too hard to answer.

Soon, there'll be more.

Stay tuned.

Mr. Fish?

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 03:08:36 GMT

Don't worry y'all, I figured out what I'm gonna do when I grow up.

Details can be found here

Heat at last!

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 17:35:34 GMT

Just wanted to note how happy I am that I live indoors. And, Last night my space heater arrived. How exciting! I was so nice and warm yesterday. What an incredible investment. I cannot think of anything better I could have spent my money on. I may have to become on of those people who rates products on the internet. :)

BRRRRRRH! (Happy V-Day!)

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 21:11:20 GMT

Hey nerds!

Happy V day!

It's 3:00 and so far I've received no chocolate hearts, no roses and no edible panties. All in all it's a good day. Oh yeah, and there is a horribly cold sleet storm outside. Did I forget to mention that? Today it was so cold that when I went downstairs to open the metal gate it was frozen shut! I had to climb around into the neighbors' yard while hoping I wasn't caught and forced to live the rest of my life as their lawn gnome. Clearly, I survived. Then I made it to the D.r.'s office where I was scheduled to get back my shoe inserts and the doctor wasn't there. When he finally called me, it was to say he had gotten into a car accident and wouldn't be able to come in. So, ladies and gentlemen, It will now be ANOTHER week of the not walking well. Yep, that's right one whole month all together if all goes well. (Of course, "If all goes well" seems like the wrong expression to use here as it has clearly not all gone well.) So, to sum things up, one day soon I may be able to walk right again. Hooray! Now I am working in a different area than usual, and of course due to the storm, they don't need me at all which is how I've found the time to update my journal :)

So, as for V day, here are a few things that start with "v"

Vanilla
Vagina
Venus Fly Trap
Velveeta
Ventilator
Virtual reality
Venerial Disease

Hookie Beanawitz

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 20:05:04 GMT

I have a birthday reminder system that emailed everyone on my list years ago and asked them to put in their birthdays so I would receive a reminder the week of. One day I got, "Reminder: Tomorrow is Hookie Beanawitz' birthday! Do you wish to send him an e-card?" So of course, I started laughing hysterically. It had my brother's birthdate on it, but of course, my parents did not name him Hookie, and we are not the Beanawitz family. Also, I had already received a response from my brother and his name was on it. It wasn't until a couple weeks later that I told my dad about the weirdness and I noticed him (hardly) trying not to laugh. Apparently, Hookie Beanawitz was the name his father had blamed when the kids in the family had clearly done something wrong but wouldn't admit it. "Who ate that cookie? Perhaps it was Hookie Beanawitz!"

So, another year has passed, and I have received another reminder which means...

Today is my baby brother's birthday! He is turning sixteen which makes me feel about a hundred and twelve. I used to change his diapers! I taught him how to write his alphabet! The year I turned 10, he spit up all over the bitchiest girl in the class at my sleepover party! Yes, we've had some wonderfully supportive times together.

Happy Birthday Hookie!

The neeed to reeead!

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 17:04:32 GMT

Well, at least January is over. January and February are our two busiest months at work. So at least January is over. And, at least February is only 28 days. All I'm really wondering now is how soon I get my rejection letters from schools so I can start the process again :)

Also, I need to go to an open mic soon or I may explode. I desperately, desperately neeeeed to read.

So, who wants to come to this?

Monday, February 5 2007
10:00pm

The O'Debra Twins "Show & Tell" $3 open mic and surprises till the whee! hours

The O’Debra Twins are hugely famous. That is why they have headlined at the following cabaret shows, comedy clubs, and other such star studded events: Eating It, Rubulad, No Hitting, Ass Magazine’s Launch Party, The Floating Vaudeville Show, Deep Dish Cabaret, Caroline’s, Piano’s, The Estrogenius Festival, Grindhouse A Go-Go, Gotham Comedy Club, Comic Strip Live, CBGB Gallery, Stand Up NY, Arlene’s Film Festival, NY Comedy Club, and Pete’s Candy Store. You can catch them in Reverend Jen and Nick Zedd’s “Electra Elf and Fluffer” series. You probably also remember The O’Debra Twins from their own smash hits, “SHUTUP!!!”, “The Entire World Thinks We’re Famous”, “Nightmare on Pussy Street”, “The O’Debra Twins Are Hungry; A Thanksgiving Special”, and “The O’Debra Twins Are Ho Ho Hoes”. They also host a wet and wild open mic at The Bowery Poetry Club called “SHOW AND TELL”.

Diane Destiny O’Debra and Tanya Tammy Tina Tiny Dancer Hyphen O’Debra are asthmatic Irish Twins who were born out of cabbages in a McDonald’s bathroom in Dublin. Part Cocker Spaniel, they both hold Associate Degrees from the Rosie Perez School of Braiding. The O’Debra Twins have no blood or guts. They are instead filled with confetti.

I've been to it before and it's a lot of fun. It happens pretty much every monday so I'm gonna go this monday. come with me nerds!

Salmon Wontons

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 01:29:59 GMT

I've decided to post some recipes. I make lots of yummy stuff, so I figured I should share.

Salmon Wontons:

Personally, I like to buy the wonton wrappers in the vegetable department of the grocery store, but here is a very easy recipe to make your own.

As for the insides...

Ingredients:

1/2 pound fresh salmon. (That's about $6 worth for those of you on the east coast)
Soft Cream cheese (about 1/4 cup)
Green Onions, chopped (about 1/4 cup)
4 tablespons Paprika
4 tablespoons Garlic powder
Soy Sauce

Directions:

Cut salmon into half-inch cubes
Cover cubes in garlic powder and paprika
put one cube in each wonton wrapper, about 1/2 teaspoon cream cheese and a sprinkle of green onions
Fold wonton wrapper in on each side and then roll up. (this will give you a cute little square. but don't freak out if it's not perfect)
(it's better for the wrappers to close then the wontons to be stuffed)

The next part is up to you. You can fry 'em or steam 'em!

Fry:

Pour oil into a pan (until it is about 1/4 inch deep)
Heat oil until a sprinkle of water sizzles
Throw four or five wontons into oil and cover pan for no longer than 30 seconds and then flip
Wontons will be done very fast so watch closely

Steam:

I like to add a little margarine and spy sauce to the water (about 1/4 cup water) as soon as pan is hot, quickly cover the wontons for about a minute. You dont have to flip these ones.

Once you've steamed or fried, yer done!

Serve with soy sauce to dip

mmmmmm

Fried Bananas.

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 04:30:14 GMT

After finishing my 6th day of work I thought, "what would be fun to do next?"

So of course, I did my taxes.

"What next?" I asked.

So of course I filled out my fafsa.

What a day.

Ok, ok, I also figured out how to make fried bananas and created salmon/ cream cheese/ scallion wontons. I'm awesome.

evil gravity.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 04:40:45 GMT

Allright y'all, my very good friend has just posted about how much she loves her life and I have just found myself crying because I knocked my purse over. It's really not that I am that opposed to picking up my stuff, it's just that it was the end of a very dismal day. The fact is, I cannot walk very well. My feet don't work because they hurt ALL THE TIME. I have had these insert things inside my shoes that help a whole lot for months now and today the doctor TOOK THEM BACK. (to fix them) Now that's all well and good that they need fixing (apparently all the gym going has squished them severely) but the result is that every step without them feels like knives going into my heels. When he discussed taking them and fixing them I thought, "ok, i can deal with a couple of days of this" but it turns out he was thinking like a couple of weeks! what?! Among things that happened during the day were my 7:00 appointment strolling in drunk at 8:00 (when we close!) and then NOT signing up for the program, three insane children (sisters) coming in late and staying FOREVER. Both of my workmates needing to leave early to be other places. Working 11 hours. So, I'm FINALLY ready to go for the night and I pick up my purse to go and somehow it flips out of my hand spilling the entire contents all over the floor. This is when I lost it. I mean seriously. Only on a day like this does something so awful happen. It's not like I picked up the purse upsidedown. It's not like there was a sudden gust of wind in my office. No, such a horrible thing can only happen when all other things have gone badly. It's due to something disgusting. It's due to something stupid. It's clearly due to evil gravity.

stupid walking.

a family fight.

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:09:17 GMT

Enough crap from me, there are more important things to discuss. As it is the 34th Anniversary of Roe v. wade, I have decided my friend Jane has said most of the things I want to say better, so read this immediately.

In 2004, my family and petitpoussin's family met in D.C. to walk in the March for Women's lives. My favorite part was my baby brother, then thirteen, read me a sign:

"Keep Bush out of my Bush"

At this moment it was very clear to me how pro-choice women were to overcome anti-choice women/not women. Like a lot of fights involving solidarity, we need just that. It cannot be our fight alone, because we are not. I am so incredibly proud to have an educated, well-spoken pro-choice brother.

my family:

petite's family:

crazy.

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 03:40:07 GMT

howdy nerds!

I'm afraid with my birthday and all I've been too busy partying to write. No really. Thursday we had a game night which was a blast. Then Friday was my birthday and I spent the night knitting and watching a dragon movie (ok, ok, that wasn't really partying) Then on Saturday I had a birthday dinner which was delicious and fabulous. In fact so many people came we had to add three seats to the table! Then, the other night I stayed up until 8:30 in the morning. It turns out now that I am a quarter of a century I am too old for that bullshit. The next day I slept until 6 pm and then my friend and I ordered in Thai foods. Today we went to brunch where I met my potential husband. (a handsome waitress with a buzzed head) I flirted FOREVER. I'm gonna have to go back next Monday just to leave her my number with a huge tip ;) Then I went shopping and it turns out when you've been working out, all the clothes you try on fit! I accidentally bought the cutest clothes on earth. ooops! Now I don't know how anyone is going to concentrate while looking at me from now on. CRAZY.

synomyms for brazen...

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:08:42 GMT

audacious, barefaced, blatant, bold, brassy, cheeky, cocky, contumelious, defiant, flashy, flip, forward, gritty, gutsy, gutty, hotshot*, immodest, impertinent, impudent, indecent, insolent, loud, meretricious, nervy, overbold, pert, saucy, shameless, spunky, tawdry, unabashed, unashamed, unblushing