hey y'all, I've moved over to wordpress.  I have to admit it, it is prettier.  I will probably post over here too, but I'm trying to branch out.

Here's the new blog

Enough crap from me, there are more important things to discuss.  As it is the 34th Anniversary of Roe v. wade, I have decided my friend Jane has said most of the things I want to say better, so read this immediately.

In 2004, my family and petitpoussin's family met in D.C. to walk in the March for Women's lives.  My favorite part was my baby brother, then thirteen, read me a sign:

"Keep Bush out of my Bush"

At this moment it was very clear to me how pro-choice women were to overcome anti-choice women/not women.  Like a lot of fights involving solidarity, we need just that.  It cannot be our fight alone, because we are not.  I am so incredibly proud to have an educated, well-spoken pro-choice brother.

my family:



petite's family:

Ladies, if you want to "cushion your coochie with cotton comfort"  it seems your time has come.  This website sells "commandos", curvy patches of cotton one sticks to the crotch of one's jeans while not wearing panties, or going, "commando."  Not only does the site encourage such behaviour, it ties such behaviour with women's lib.  "let's be our mysterious, empowered, sexual independent healthy selves whenever we choose to 'go commandos."  Apparently, we are supposed to stick these to our panties instead of wearing underwear and then dispose them after one use.  Umm, why would we pay $2.00 for what's clearly just a lightdays Kotex?  If I'm really so concerned with cushioning my coochie with cotton comfort, why wouldn't I just wear panties??!  And what do commandos do for poor souls like Brittany and Lindsay who aren't capable of sticking their cotton comfort to anything because they aren't wearing pants!?  It seems that Commandos may not be a bad product, but perhaps they are just not well executed.  And with that I challenge you commandos!  I challenge you to find a solution that will cover Brittany's cooch.  We are all waiting.

Oh nerds,

I try to write to you every day and yet squishy children keep swimming themselves through my thoughts and distracting me from the blogging.

(sorry)


Those of you who know me well, or who have ever listened to my voicemail know I have a particular affection for bears.  Particularly, I love the idea of one being eaten by a bear in a ridiculously urban environment.  I'm often known to answer a child who asks why his mom hasn't come to pick him up, "Maybe she was eaten by a bear."

Well it seems the chance was missed.

According to an article on CNN.com,  "The bears have finally fallen asleep and they have not woken up yet," Natalia Istratova, a spokeswoman for Moscow Zoo, said by telephone."

It seems that the bears have been roaming around irritable and hungry with insomnia in Russia!  But alas, the bears have gone to bed:
 "Russian bears at Moscow Zoo have finally dropped off into their hibernation slumber despite months of insomnia caused by a record mild start to winter..."

But don't worry folks, there is still hope:

"The emergency ministry has warned that wild bears who are waking up early because of the mild weather could become aggressive"

Thank goodness, readers, thank goodness.

So the biggest news in New York right now is the weather. And for once when people start talking about weather in the supermarket, everyone seems to be joining in. It is the middle of January and it is going to be 65 degrees tomorrow and sunny. How do New Yorkers feel about this? We are confused. Hell, even the plantlife is confused. There are reports all over the East Coast of flowers blooming, of the Cherry Blossoms in Washington D.C. and the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, well, blossoming! Now today it is drizzling a bit which at least makes it feel like April showers, but tomorrow it is supposed to be warm and bright. While some people may find this exciting, I personally have work tomorrow and when it is nice out we get four hundred million children, so I have been hoping for snow. I love snow when I am working a Saturday. Parents are way too lazy to bring their kids to tutoring when there is any sort of flurry. I'm sure reader that you are thinking, "But Alex, don't you want to affect as many children as possible?" Here's the thing reader: fuck children. They are digusting germ-covered beasts whose sole purpose is to spread disease. I have had seven hundred colds this year and also the flu. My coworker has had all this and also pink-eye TWICE and scabies. Children are horrible people.

It seems I've said enough.

A story my father told me last night while handing me a blanket:

(paraphrased of course)


I had moved to New York after school and I had a real job for the first time. It was my third pay check or so when I realized I no longer had to live like a student. I took my paycheck and decided to buy myself a present...


So I was in line holding the present I'd chosen. An electric train. Then I thought, nah, maybe something else. So I bought myself this blanket.






It's nice to hear about the day my father became an adult, but it scares me when he says, "I was the age you are now."

Allright, I just had to post this one thing.

Bush

Just look at what the picture is made of.

What wonderful news!

According to Wikkipedia:

If I Ran the Zoo is credited with inventing the word "nerd" with the sentence "And then, just to show them, I'll sail to Ka-Troo/And Bring Back an It-Kutch a Preep and a Proo/A Nerkle a Nerd and a Seersucker, too!"

Well this explains a lot reader!  For one, when I was little, my father must have read me If I Ran the Zoo like 700 times.  Seriously, I just did the math.  Let's say once a night for about two years.  Two, in the second year or so, he began leaving out parts and letting me finish sentences. 

So, it turns out I knew what a nerd was from a very small age.  (I'm sure this is so very surprising to you reader)  And to think, I barely remembered that book until just now.  Well, I know what I want for Chanukah :)